With Any Amazement

And are not afraid with any amazement.

— _Marriage service_.

SCENE.-_A bachelor's bedroom — toilet-table arranged with unnatural neatness_. CAPTAIN GADSBY _asleep and snoring heavily. Time_, 10.30 A. M. — _a glorious autumn day at Simla. Enter delicately_ CAPTAIN MAFFLIM of GADSBY'S regiment. Looks at sleeper, and shakes his head murmuring 'Poor Gaddy.' Performs violent fantasia with hair-brushes on chair-back_.

CAPT. M. Wake up, my sleeping beauty! (_Roars_.)

'Uprouse ye, then, my merry merry men!

It is our opening day!

It is our opening da-ay!'

Gaddy, the little dicky-birds have been billing and cooing for ever so long; and I'm here!

CAPT. G. (_Sitting up and yawning_.) 'Mornin'. This is awf'ly good of you, old fellow. Most awf'ly good of you. 'Don't know what I should do without you. On my soul, I don't. 'Haven't slept a wink all night.

CAPT. M. I didn't get in till half-past eleven. 'Had a look at you then, and you seemed to be sleeping as soundly as a condemned criminal.

CAPT. G. Jack, if you want to make those disgustingly worn-out jokes, you'd better go away. (With _portentous gravity_.) It's the happiest day in my life.

CAPT. M. (Chuckling grimly.) Not by a very long chalk, my son. You're going through some of the most refined torture you've ever known. But be calm. I am with you. 'Shun! _Dress_!

CAPT. G. Eh! Wha-at?

CAPT. M. DO you suppose that you are your own master for the next twelve hours? If you _do_, of course — - (_Makes for the door_.)

CAPT. G. No! For Goodness' sake, old man, don't do that! You'll see me through, won't you? I've been mugging up that beastly drill, and can't remember a line of it.

CAPT. M. (_Overhauling_ G's _uniform_.) Go and tub. Don't bother me. I'll give you ten minutes to dress in.

_Interval, filled by the noise as of one splashing in the bath-room_.

CAPT. G. (_Emerging from dressing-room_.) What time is it?

CAPT. M. Nearly eleven.

CAPT. G. Five hours more. O Lord!

CAPT. M. (_Aside_.) 'First sign of funk, that. 'Wonder if it's going to spread. (Aloud.) Come along to breakfast.

CAPT. G. I can't eat anything. I don't want any breakfast.

CAPT. M. (_Aside_.) So early! (_Aloud_.) Captain Gadsby, I _order_ you to eat breakfast, and a dashed good breakfast, too. None of your bridal airs and graces with me!